But God: Disappointments
Updated: May 14, 2022
I wanted a family united. I as a child, dreamed of a “perfect” family who loved beyond family issues. I grew up watching tv, showing how families could be. I do not remember watching any dysfunctional families on tv. I started with black and white perfect tv families such as, I Love Lucy, Father Knows Best, Dick Vandyke, The Ponderosa all the way to the Cosby’s in color.
I decided my home would be the “Ponderosa”. You might need to Google some of these old shows, to really comprehend what I am sharing. The Ponderosa would be the base line. The family would probably squabble at times, unite to fight the enemies but always re-unite at the Ponderosa in love for family. At the Ponderosa, the family would come together to heal, revive, and be restored. The grey headed elder was still energetic and wise. I wanted to be there for them, like that elder with wisdom.
Thru the years I realized that all my dreams and desires for the family were not in my control. I would try to force, manipulate, and sometimes shame the family to bend into my vision for them and the Ponderosa. I Just wanted to love them, care for them based on my desire. When they did not fold into the plan, I thought it was because of the illogical decisions they were making. They knew how much I did and tried to provide, so why blame me? How could they be so disrespectful toward me by the way they behaved after seeing all I had done for them!!! Shame on them. They would feel my displeasure of their actions. If they did not appear to feel it, I would verbally share how I felt and how their actions were not conducive of what was expected of them to contribute as a member of this united family.
But God, soften and captured my heart. I messed around and got saved!!!! The Holy Spirit revealed to me that it was not about me and mine. Just looking above is a small count of the I’s, me and my’s (24), that I inflicted upon the ones I love.
Never would I have gone back to acknowledge my selfishness and confess to the family that I made so many mistakes. My actions are visible in some of my off springs, But God has allowed me to be forgiven and I desired their forgiveness. Not sure if they understand or accept my apologies, But God has given me peace in knowing that He wants all to be saved.
Only thru the perfect work of my Lord Jesus Christ can there be the Perfect/Holy Family. My desires are now what He desires. Knowing that God is intentional to blot out our transgressions, we do not have to live in shame or condemnation of all our blunders. We are free to seek total healing and allow our scares from our decisions to reflect the But God’s by showcasing His Mercy in our lives.
There are so many But God’s in my life. The brokenness in my life and how my sins has affected others, I lay at Christ’s feet. If you are a Believer, ask Him to help you continue to learn more of Him. You will become more aware of so many of the But God’s in your life. As the Holy Spirit guides you, you will begin to understand that all your mistakes and brokenness can become a testimony of the But God’s that are available.
Get you, your pride and all your mess exposed unto the Lord. You trying to hide it is vain, God already knows.
Acknowledge your mess,
repent and watch the
But God’s unfold.